As you may have realized by now, Fight Mass is not a breaking news organization. Nor, it seems, are we very interested in writing outside of hockey season. However, in the interest of providing you, our reader(s(?)) with the hot-sports-takes you demand, we humbly present to you Broken News, a summary of things that happened, at some point, somewhere in the UMass universe.
So, I’m not sure if you realized it or not, but UMass sports is back. With last Thursday’s “Wait, this is all we are doing against a school with no athletic scholarships?” narrow defeat of The College of the Pretty Rad Cross, it was the same old story for Minutemen football: Bend but do not break defense, solid running, and Mark from Fear the Triangle straining his neck shaking his head at the Kevin Morris era. I’ll keep it short because, frankly, it was a snoozer of a game (outside of the fried Oreos Holy Cross served). But, as constituted, this team can barely compete in the FCS, let alone move up. Maybe it’s first game jitters, and it very well could be the “playing down to your competition” syndrome that plagues this team, but it will be interesting to see how this team looks against the URI Fighting Andy Greshes (who I thought lost their FB team but apparently not). Hopefully one of the QBs can take the reigns in the next two weeks. I liked Kellen Pagel a bit more on Thursday, but I found out his sister goes to Ohio State so now I don’t even know what to think. [Editor’s note: Uhh, this happened, lol articles written over an extended period of time. I’ll reflect on it later. -MB]
UMASS IS PLAYING HOCKEY AT MOTHER FUCKING FENWAY, This has been rumored for a while, but it feels really good to have it official instead of worrying about Hockey East pulling the plug and saying “lol no jk” and getting BU or BC to play again. No doubt we will be there in full force. Tickets go on sale soon kids, so get ready but do if after us because we need better seats. [Editors note: LOLOLOLOL WHY DID I THINK IT WAS OK TO NOT REREAD THE FIRST PART OF THIS STORY -MC]
Mr Paul Dainton is officially signed with the Falcons for this coming year. He played well during the tryout contract at the end of last season, as evidenced by the first ever Paul Dainton hat trick (an assist, a penalty, and 30+ saves). UPDATE SINCE THIS HAS BEEN IN THE DRAFTS BIN FOR A FEW WEEKS!: Mr. Dainton suited up for the first 2 Blue Jackets (thats the NHL team in Columbus for you not in the know/not paying attention to expansion team/ignoring the existence of the state of Ohio) games, seeing 2 periods of ice time in the first game, stopping 17 of 18 shots and getting the win. Yes, its a preseason game. But hey, its an NHL preseason game and he obviously showed something because he hasn’t been sent home yet. Am I the only one who thinks this should be a bigger deal? When I floated the hypothetical question of which Minuteman from last year’s team had the best chance of seeing time on an NHL club, the answer was Pereira and a dark horse for Teglia. Nobody said Dainton, and if they did they would have been mocked openly for their truth-fearing ways. Then Paul got a 10 day contract with the Falcons down in Springfield and we were happy. Hell, if he played well maybe he could see time as a journeyman AHL backup….if he was lucky. Now? It wouldn’t shock me to see Paul earning a roster spot on a NHL team as a backup. Maybe not this year, but eventually. Nobody thought Dainton was a superstar, and he isn’t. However, there is a definite value in having somebody who is consistently above average and will keep your team in games. When you’re a backup in the NHL, you will be starting a few games in addition to being inserted into games to stop the bleeding caused by an inconsistent starting goalie. Who better than Paul? Obviously we will all be watching and rooting to Paul to make it in the competitive world of profesional hockey.
When Toot said he was going to run the program like Navy Seals he apparently wasn’t kidding. The team doing some team building exercises preparing for this year
Frozen Fenway tickets are on sale. We have an entire row. Deal with it.
There will be no official exhibition game. Which is really sad. Seeing a game at the practice rink, presumably sober, with the actual die hard fans of the program was one of the highlights of last year. This will also make October 7th against Northeastern a hell of a lot more nerve-racking.
However, if you really want to know about the freshmen, look no further than this Fear The Triangle article on our incoming class.
More (legitimate) articles as the season approaches, including an updated version of the “How the Rest of Hockey East really feels” section (with a more angry title) as well as the long awaited return of our bastion of hockey knowledge, Mr Derek Walsh. [Editor’s note: Not to mention the other mysterious surprises I keep hinting at. -MB]
Enjoy the weekend…and fuck BC.