Lowest

Well, crap on a crap cracker.

The joy ride of a three-game win streak was halted quickly this weekend, as UMass managed just one of a possible four points over the course of two miserable, lifeless performances. Really, there’s not much to say about this weekend: the power play reverted to its evil ways Friday night against a team full of thugs that was all-too-eager to give away extra-man opportunities with dumb penalties, not to mention a bevy of hilarious turnovers. UMass did play well in the overtime period but Dan Sullivan stood on his head to save the day and force a tie. A point is a point, except when that point means a critical failed opportunity to gain two points on a conference rival, one who (stunningly) looks like it will be battling not for home ice but for a playoff spot.

Then there was last night. Hoo boy. My 12-0 prediction came a third of the way true as UMass truly didn’t look like they belonged on the same ice as the Reject Sonic-the-Hedgehogs. It really looked like the guys were assuming they were getting the awful River Hawks of a year ago and thought they could coast to a win, but a funny thing happened in Lowell this year – they decided to actually field a hockey team, and said hockey team – playing, no less, without its freshman sensation Wilson – thoroughly dominated every aspect of the game. There is literally nothing about this game that can be taken as a positive, other than that Mastalerz didn’t completely suck? It is an ugly loss to an ugly team that damnit I hate them all so very very much and…ahem. Yeah. This doesn’t sit well with us. Remember, until last night, UMass hadn’t lost to Lowell since we started the blog. It was a nice run, and it came to a crashing halt just like most good…cocaine…ah for crying out fuck, I don’t even feel like it anymore.

(Besides, if you exclude the actual game, Derek and I had a wonderful time in Lowell, one of the easiest and most fun roadtrips in Hockey East. Aside from the fact that it is now literally four times closer to where I live than Amherst is…parking is a breeze, the arena has improved significantly with recent renovations, Lowell Beer Works is right down the street, I can’t believe I’m typing these words, I can’t believe I’m saying these things, I’m gonna just go cry in the corner now. Oh also we met Monty of UML Hockey fame. Cool guy. Had the distinct pleasure of being directly adjacent to him for all four increasingly-awful goals UMass allowed. Yeah, we get it, sieve, we suck. Indeed.)

Anyway, Tuesday brings the last chance in a while for UMass to get back on track in Hockey East play before a stretch of five straight non-conference (read: basically exhibition at this point) games to get back on track (including a possible “non-conference” game against Maine, lol watch as UMass wins this time). UMass has played well in the Fieldhouse in recent years and this is possibly the worst Vermont team in a long-ass time. If those two points slip away…well, that’d be the worst of all possible timelines, wouldn’t it?

– Max

P.S. I don’t feel like awarding a Kubbie Point for this game, but if I have to, what the fuck, Mastalerz wasn’t terrible given that he had zero help in front of him the whole game. Also haha we will eventually get the Kubbie Kounter up and running. Maybe.

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2 comments

  1. Monty

    FWIW, I don’t think the UMass team I saw on Saturday night is representative of what your team will be the next time these two play.

    Was fun meeting you guys though, and now you owe me a beer! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Around Hockey East: 11/22 | Husky Hockey

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