Tonight Two Great Ships Will Pull Back To Their Ports

We are less than 2 hours from the beginning of one of the great days in UMass sports. Both Televised. Both with the potential to be great, not only in quality, but in outcome.

At noon, you have UMass playing Temple in Atlantic City. Temple is a good team, and any other year this would be an all but assured loss, but, this being the year of Chaz, a win is always in play. However, UMass is going to need to play a damn near perfect game to stay close today. However, this team has proven time and time again that it not only can stay in games, but they are able to finish them out as well (as someone who watched the previous Kellog era teams, this is inexplicable). I could absolutely see Chaz and “Handsome” Ralph Putney singlehandedly winning the game for UMass, as they are often the most dynamic players on the court at any given moment, combined with the fact that both have an undeniable swagger that makes me think that the big stage of Atlantic city coupled with the underdog angle (although lets be honest, a 1vs8 matchup is near meaningless in the clusterfuck that is the A10 thsi year).

Now lets be honest, you could be reading this when you get home from work tonight and say “lololol nice guess fag” after UMass is handily beaten. However, lets state unequivocally that, as of 10:15 AM, Matt “waka floka flume” Civello likes UMass’s chances for an upset special in Atlantic City. So, fuck it, take a few hours and pull a nooner. Craft beer tastes beter when you drink it before responsibilities.

Meanwhile, in not nearly as optimistic, we have UMass v BC tonight on The NBC Sports Network aka VS aka the station that refuses to have a highlight show at night for no apparent reason. Now, one would think that having secured 2 wins in 3 games against the hated BC eagles, a UMass superfan/blogging expert like myself would like our chances to shock the world (again) and pull an upset at BC. Well, you would be wrong because I have about as much faith in this game as I do Parker Milner’s ability to not hit a green line train after macking on a bitty at an applebees or Stevie Moses’s ability to not be a massive protruding prick. First, unlike the 2 glorious wins against the hated eagles, this game happens solely at a place called Conte Forum (or Kelly rink, fuck if I know why there are multiple names), a place where exactly zero of the wins for UMass occurred this year. What did occur there, to which you should be a slightly bit concerned, is a 5-2 beatdown that should have been 13-1 if not for Teglia standing on his head (a Teg stand, you could say (#freeTegs(#unreal))) and a late goal by Marcou when the game was long decided. It was a rough game. It was a game that made me as pessimistic as could be about this year. Yeah, thats the place we are playing.

Not only that, but this is an Eagles team that is hot as fuck. The Eagles havent lost since January and havent lost at home sine DECEMBER 2ND. So yeah, thats what we’re playing.

Don’t get me wrong, UMass has a punchers chance, and if anything, UMass made the superfrauds sweat a little for a week, but frankly I’m sick of every year talking myself into UMass having a chance in the Hockey east semis. It just leads to me being disappointed and playing Melancholy Hill on the long drive back to wherever isn’t newton. Its like Prince playing Bonnaroo. It will happen when it happens, but  I’m not going to give myself a boner at the mere thought of it.

IMPORTANT FIGHT MASS ANNOUNCEMENT So, it seems like a bunch of you kids have taken my vaguely melancholy tweets about enjoying college while you’re there and going to an away game while still a student to heart. Well golly, thats swell. A toast to you Gentlemen (and ladies!). Now, the blogging brotherhood of fightmass has been to many a’roadgame and have learned through trial, error and thick, syrupy humiliation, the proper road etiquette for the still spry UMass student Fan. The cornerstone rules are as follows:

  • Never, ever, swear

Might Seem obvious, but the fact of the matter is that loose lips that may be acceptile in the friendly confines of the Bill are not going to be acceptable on the road. Change “fuck em ups” to “sieve sieve sieve” and “see ya asshole” to “see ya [insert ironically tame phrase]” (FightMass recommends “ya turkey”) People on the road are looking for reasons to dislike you and kick you out, so don’t give them ammo by being obscene. Be load, but keep it clean.

  • Be respectful and courteous to opposing fans and arena staff at all times

First, their is no reason to be a dick to the staff. They are there to do thier job and frankly, they may be your only advocate in the arena if things get hectic. Plus, you should always be nice to people with shitty jobs. Just common courtesy.  As for opposing fans, there is no need to tone down your passion and cheers, but at the same time don’t go giving dirty looks to people rooting on their own team. Smile, nod your head, be personable and nice. While there isn’t a chance that everybody in the place will be nice to you, its important to build a light rapport with people around you.

  • Don’t pick fights

May seem obvious, but don’t bring a fight to yourself. In general, avoid individual taunting and putting yourself in volatile physical situations, such as stepping up to somebody when engaged in a verbal altercation. Listen, you have the absolute right to defend yourself and be loud and proud, and if somebody wants to taunt you they have it coming right back at them. But being a fan in an opposing arena where emotions run high is alot like driving in Amherst on a saturday night: there is a good chance every other car is drunk, be a defensive driver.

Oh, and this is the weekend theme




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