We all know what’s going to happen tomorrow, don’t we? Hoops will hang around against Temple, run its high-powered offense, and make a game out of it for the second time in a week. Hell, they might even have a lead late in the game. We’ll start thinking “wait a second, if we win this, and all that’s left is the Bonnies and Xavier or Saint Louis…”
And then the carpet will be pulled out from under us, Sally will take away the football, the fucking writers of How I Met Your Mother will have yet another ridiculous twist that makes us wait yet another fucking season because we all know they’re not really gonna tell us who the fucking mother is and come on it HAS to actually still be Robin somehow right? and…ahem. And the Owls will pull away and that’ll be the end of that.
And then, later in the night, hockey will come out fired-up, ready to play against an Eagles team they’ve played well all year long, and they, too, will stick around in a neck-and-neck game. Hell, they might even be tied late and push it to overtime. And then the Eagles will assert their will, maybe get a lucky bounce or two or a bad defensive breakdown at the worst possible time on our blue line, and some asshole will get the game-winner and all 300 Superfrauds will jump for joy and sing For Boston over their copped Bruins goal horn and Boyyyyyle/Maaaastalerz! You suck! At life! And goaltending! It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault! It may or may not all be his fault. Either way, they’ll head home happy in their Mercedes Benzes to their parents’ mansions for some post-game caviar and maybe a kinky Eyes Wide Shut-style tryst. You know. Rich people shit.
And then we’ll come back Saturday and it’ll be the same old song and dance all over again, only BC will pull away a little earlier this time, and we’ll write about it, but you won’t read it, and frankly neither will we. At least it’ll be warm out and time for the Bruins and Celtics’ playoff runs and Spring Training and…errr, is it football yet?
Honestly, it’s like Groundhog Day, but without Bill Murray to save it. In fact, like that film, it’s even mildly funny. (Full disclosure: Okay, I’ve never seen it. But I get the premise and so does everyone. Shut up and let me finish.) We’re locked right now in some kind of awful continuum where we get our hopes up for this weekend every single year and every single year we’re happy that St. Patrick’s Day weekend and March Madness (sans UMass, of course, but at least sans BC as well) is there to ease the sting. It’s like striking out at the same bar week after week with the same target, not that I would know what that’s like obviously. I’m just trying to level with you. Loser.
Well, all that pessimism is no fun, so here comes my annual attempt to talk us both into it. Ready? Here goes nothing.
Eventually, the blind nut catches the squirrel. They play the games, and we watch the games, because anything can happen on any given night. Unbreakable records get broken. Unthinkable feats become reality. And by golly, teams that have no business winning series win series.
We’ve seen plenty of firsts this year. UMass shutting out BC – that’s a first ever. And we here at the blog saw UMass hat tricks in person for the first time, wins over BC and Xavier on the hardwood for the first time. Hell, we even saw a court-storming, albeit for the wrong team, but still. Isn’t it about time something wild happens in our favor?
Maybe not. Maybe the record will skip yet again. Shit, maybe UMass will lose in the first round at Conte Forum every year from now until eternity. And maybe the A10 Tourney will remain hexed for UMass, even as it moves closer to home (and further from Philly) in Brooklyn next year. But eventually, the carpet doesn’t budge, Charlie Brown gets to the ball, they finally admit Robin is the mother and they adopt the kids or whatever bullshit I’m fine with as long as she doesn’t end up with Kal Penn, and so on. I keep telling myself this because honestly I’ll go insane otherwise. But I’m guessing that if you’re here, you’re in the same boat.
I’m officially convinced. This weekend really does have the potential to be legendary. If history’s not on our side, maybe the law of averages is. I mean, hey, anything is possible.
And if we lose? At least we’ve got lacrosse season.