Day One

Ok, before all you guys get on my case, UMass played in the BCS National Championship in 2016 (promptly getting pwnd by Georgia, but I digress) and just orchestrated a move into the Big East Conference for 2017, so fuck you, dude calling me lazy for not writing on this poorly formatted blog more often.

Its been a strange few months. Despite having the best secondary baseball team ever (hashtag nattitude), it was a long boring summer of Red sox drama, hockey changes that highlighted the immense lack of respect our alma mater has for our most favoritest sport, and occasional Springfield robbery/murder fantasies due to choosing a career dealing with kids who stab at your soul while having low self esteem being the Kevin Morris of career choices. However, here we are in fall again, with the 3 major college sports set to start and give us constant speculative opportunities to distract us from the fact that we are on a rock hurdling through space and our lives and everything we do is ultimately meaningless. But seriously folks, what a swell as hell time of year.

So tonight we dine in hell, Our beloved Minutemen football rag tag group of farmers take on a university in a place that actually runs Yankees themed “I’m drinking Dunkins” ads. Tonight we get to take on the thing most realistic UMies aspire to be, a national name that has nice facilities and can at least compete on a national level. Game prognosis? Not super fucking positive. Its fun that on a year where I have zero faith in this team (as a cynical hyper realist I see that programs making a jump up to the big time deal with what the kids are calling “rape you can’t get pregnant from”) I will be traveling to more games than any other year. (Yes, I guess this is me announcing to our blogging audience that me and Max will be making the trip to the great state of Michigan in a few weeks.) I fully expect to see this team lose some ugly games this year, and be perpetually ignored so we can all have a patented UMasshoops “the globe hates us and is a joke conspiracy ALIENS” circlejerk. But just like your pal Matt Civello in NCAA Football 13, the further forward you get away from this moment, the more successful you will be. Just by making the jump, things will be getting better. Every single recruiting class to come in will be better in some way (especially in the early years). So, UMass brethren, the next few years for Football will suck but, fuck it, we get to drink and hear Brad Nessler name shitty facts about our University in NCAA 13 and we get to troll idiot midwesterners and we get to experience IT! Whatever the fuck that is. We worked hard to get here and god damn it, we deserve to enjoy every second of it. I’ll see you guys in a few hours and be having the time of my life. Score not contingent on anything.

Talk to you guys later,


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