Tagged: if Adam Phillips falls in the woods and no one is there to see it did he really fall?

In Shambles Like Lowell’s Economy

Like the city of Lowell itself, last night was an ugly clusterfuck of a night. UMass comes away with a lucky as hell 5-4 win, but its a real shame that points have to be given out after a game like last night’s. Our defense was out of position and slow (highlighted by several players simply falling over with provocation, leading flag guy to comment “maybe they aren’t used to playing on good ice”) and scared the ever living shit out of me all game. Perhaps by simply watching this team all year I expect every shot on net to be a goal, but every time Lowell got the puck into our end I was in a perpetual Bob Dylan “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh” (the official sound of Fight Mass).  I have zero confidence in our defense, and just looking at them execute simple hockey things like limit angles on a 2 on 2 is terrifying.

Lets be completely honest with each other here: If we were playing any team without “Lowell” on their sweaters we would have lost by 8. Too many good shots given up, far too much standing around. And that is whats scary, if we can only eek out a win against one of the worst hockey east teams in recent memory, what does that mean for the next 3 months where we are not playing the crack capital of Massachusetts?

Our ceiling this year is 6th in Hockey East, which after watching this team regress over the last month (something that should not be happening for such a young team) I have little faith we can do.  If we are going to put ourself into position for making the playoffs, its going to be done in the next few weeks. First off, we need 2 points tonight, and as a personal preference, maybe we can earn them tonight. No falling asleep at the wheel and giving up 3 unanswered goals. No offensive complacency. NO SHORTHAND GOALS! Beat Lowell, show me something, anything, and then we can think about the future. Next week its a pointable weekend (thats my new phrase, remember that) against Vermont who is somehow worse than us in the HE standings (I refuse to believe that there are 2 worse teams than big brother UMass and ugly sister). Yes its on the road, but we need some points against the basement of Hockey East. After that, its a home and home with Northeastern, who is beatable (I watched 59 minutes of the last time we met and it went pretty well) and then a whole bunch of games I would be stupid to expect points from.

If there was ever a time for UMass to not suck this year, its these next few weeks. Maybe, despite the absolute shit play on the ice, last night’s win will wake up our beloved minutemen and turn this stretch around. An ugly win, yes, but maybe, just maybe, a win to stop the losing streak is all our boys need to start playing with some confidence (dear god I hope so).  Get some points over the next few weekends, solidify a spot in the playoffs, and maybe give a BC or BU a scare for one game in the quarterfinals (is it too much to ask for a single playoff win in my UMass career?). We are not hard to please, UMass hockey, our expectations were low this year, but we only ask for a few things. Show us flashes of something to come, be entertaining, and for the love of god don’t be Lowell.

Random Thoughts

  • I’m really disappointed Tsongas doesn’t suck anymore. The concourses may be planned out worse than Lowell’s recruiting strategy, but its still one of the better barns in Hockey East right now. The scoreboard is amazing, they finally got the lighting right, and there is no more dumb blimp.  Good job Lowell (too bad we had to pay for it (lol taxpayer joke (no but seriously we’re pissed (does this mean we can have a nice football stadium?)))
  • Does anyone remember when Darren Rowe was alive? That was fun.
  • The sheer lack of shooting after the whistle and embellishment calls is disgraceful this year. Why can’t new Casey Wellman do that for me?
  • Lowell has consistently been the best away game to be a loud asshole at. There is the perfect balance of hatred for you and knowledge that they won’t do anything that makes yelling at Lowell rewarding. Also, being a fan of the away team when they win in the last 15 seconds is a feeling that I hope everyone (except Lowell fans) gets to experience. The mix between the deflated quiet of the home crowd and our sheer jubilation was amazing
  • I would like to send an official apology to the ice is life (RIP). I was an oversensitive asshole hellbent on trolling and you are hilarious. Also, misery loves company.
  • On that note, Lowell has banners to remind us of all the years where weezer was still relevant and Lowell made the NCAAs

Apologies in advance for all the spelling errors and terrible writing. I’m a terrible blogger, get over it.

See you at the Bill kids,

-Matt