Tagged: What the fuck is a Billiken?

Majerus is fat, and other rantings

Wednesday night’s basketball game against George Washington was one of the ugliest things I’ve ever watched. G-Dubs (their own fans’ embarrassingly-bad name for the team, as in “let’s go G-Dubs,” something I never want to hear again) got upwards of eleventy billion rebounds, while Javorn “Junk Yard Dog” Farrell got tossed for some sort of physical altercation which, thanks to the A-10’s marvelous visibility issues, we will likely never, ever see replays of, and which will live on only in the hearts and minds of the approximately 12 members of the “Colonial Army.” (Yes, that’s their student section, and fine, I will admit that it did seem to be at least on par with the Maroon Platoon Minutefans Mullins Militia on a non-free-T-shirt b-ball game.)

Honestly, it was an abortion of a basketball game, and because we’re trying to avoid getting too far into the politics dealie here at Fight Mass, I don’t want to discuss abortions. So we’re just going to leave this game behind and hope it was an aberration in terms of the improved recent play of the Minutemen. Now let’s hope Rick Majerus’s team doesn’t eat up the now Ferrell-and-Gibbs-less Minutemen on Sunday. Oh, by the way, fatass, please vacate the Atlantic 10 immediately and stop complaining about it. You coach at fucking Saint Louis University. Your mascot is…uhh… this thing. Christ, even we have more prestige than you, and our current fan favorite is a 350-pound man with no discernible basketball talent. Also, when Majerus is jumping around on the court complaining about calls several feet away from City, will City finally look skinny by comparison? All sorts of fun subplots coming up this weekend.

Anyway, UMass also apparently still has a hockey team, and one which is still somehow predicted by USCHO to make the NCAA tournament, if only barely. UMass’s offense showed signs of life in the whistle-tacular Matthews debacle, so it’ll be interesting to see if Toot stays with the Casey/Jimmy split-up again, especially since Lecomte, fresh off of injury, will miss Friday’s game after getting tossed. Then again, Lawler Arena is a horrible place that deserves to be burned to the ground, and I’ve never even been there (and sadly, this year’s only trip, which I’d otherwise jump all over, is lining up with my friend’s 21st birthday). UMass’s struggles there are well-documented, and North Andover Community College is coming off an impressive 3-point weekend against Vermont — although, now that Milo is gone, I’m not entirely sure UVM will even make the Hockey East playoffs, ridiculous as it may sound since they’re still tied for 9th in the PWR right now. Of course, the mind-numbing scenario of Vermont making the NCAA’s but missing their own conference tourney would also require Merrimack to surge past them (something which would involve winning this weekend’s series against UMass) and would also likely involve Vermont losing games to Lowell, a team we obviously hate far more than the Catamounts. The Ugly Sister is just 2 points back of UMass, too, so there’s that.

Do or die time for the Minutemen this weekend. This 5-of-6 stretch has been horrendous, but the Minutemen played much better against the red-hot Huskies than they had in previous games, and there were signs of life from the offense. However, as long as Kubbie stays out (and since my Facebook stalker scouts are reporting that “mono is kickiing [his] ass” as of a week ago, I’m not overly optimistic on his timely return), the defense is still lacking something. Last year, the D stepped up in a big way at Matthews, but it was just a little too late. In these last five games, it’s all on Marty and Bronco to establish their legacy here at UMass. It’s up to Mikey and Irwin and Donnellan and Rowe to get it figured out. It starts with these two games against a small liberal arts college from North Andover, whose best player is a Frenchman and whose scoreboard makes even Lowell’s look NHL-caliber.

It starts with all of these, or, sad to say, it ends this weekend, because if you can’t beat Merrimack, you can’t beat Maine or BC.

(Now watch them get swept by Mack and then win their last 3.)