Tie Fighters and Non-Fighters

GET IT BECAUSE STAR WARS ETC

Did you know Matt of Fight Mass dot com has never seen Star Wars and is proud of it? He likely won’t even get the joke in the title and definitely doesn’t even give even the smallest of fucks. Feel free to register your opinions on that to At Fight Mass on the Twittermatic.

Anyway. Whatever.

Let’s see how our three favorite teams did this week. First, our football team.

Yeah, that seems about right. Rather than talk about the 28-10 blown lead, which was predictable af, and rather than talk about that we got to be the laughing stock of the nation on a Scott Van Pelt bit this morning, and how everyone on the defense visibly stopped fighting after the first Toledo touchdown of the second half, and how Mark Whipple looks completely defeated and bored, let’s discuss how awesome our beer was for our tailgate.

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You know your tailgate beer is good when Dogfish Head looks like shit next to the rest of it

How awesome, you ask? What other tailgate in the country has Trillium DDH Fort Point pale ale, Tree House That’s What She Said stout, Night Shift Bean Porter, and a ton of other good shizz? None, probably, I’d assume, unless there’s a posse of craft beer fanatic Patriots season ticket holders out there somewhere. Sadly this continues to be the only good aspect week after week. I stopped at the convenience store near Gillette on Rt. 1 and some guy in the bathroom saw my jersey and asked “hey, do they have a football game today too or is it just people gathered to tailgate?” A dumb question seemingly at the time, but – y’know what? Maybe we do start skipping the games. I feel like the students are on to something.*

*This is not an opinion I actually advocate. Yet.

Let’s move on to hockey. Ah, hockey, the thing we started this blog about, and which we had the least amount of expectations for this season, and they continue to heed – for once! – our annual request of “please don’t suck.” Friday’s game against UNH started like one of the many, many, m-a-n-y trademark Mick Meltdowns (TM) where a seemingly unthinkable blowout happens about once a month and there’s really no rhyme or reason to it other than the team completely stopped playing. Only, a funny thing happened – they kept playing. Another funny thing, of course, was that UNH seemingly did stop playing, and their goalie isn’t very good to begin with so far this year. But one thing led to another led to yet another, and suddenly a 6-1 deficit went bye-bye and the Minutemen escaped with a point in their first Hockey East matchup of the year. Incidentally, this is the first time in the Mick era that UMass has managed to not lose their Hockey East opener, though to be fair, this is also the first time he’s gotten a Hockey East opener against a team not on Comm Ave. (Toot’s final year opened with that fall-from-ahead tie at Northeastern. Remember that? And some asshat almost made off with my jersey? Good times.)

So following the biggest comeback in the modern era of the program, UMass, now the de facto #22 team in all the land, gets a two-day trip to, umm, Trenton, NJ for some reason, to play Maine and probably Yale in a few more non-conference games. UMass is pretty adept at winning these random in-season tourneys in odd locations, but since this is bizarro year and so far they also seem adept at scoring goals, I have no idea what to expect. We’ve already seen them officially clinch the first-ever above-.500 month in Mick’s tenure (something seniors this year could have never gotten to see as students!) and there’s reason to believe a strong performance this coming weekend could end up with them…ranked? Right? It says that on the teleprompter. That can’t be right, can it? Huh. That’s what it says. Alright then.

Oh, and let’s throw one more thing in there quickly: KenPom, one of those wonderful college basketball prognosticating whozewhatsits, recently used a proprietary formula to predict the A-10 standings this year. UMass, naturally, has been picked to finish last. Behind Fordham. Yes, that Fordham. Seriously. Needless to say, this is some serious statistical #disrespect. #Disrespectistics? Something like that. Now, don’t get me wrong, with Pipkins’s status apparently still in limbo as far as qualifying to play this year, Hines and Holloway still massive question marks, and Donte Clark seemingly our best offensive player, I wouldn’t say this is anything other than the bridgiest of bridge years. But that doesn’t mean they’re worse than Forgoddamnham. Ah well. Couple more weeks before we get to see UMass prove it, in their opening game against Howard, whom I am not afraid of, for the record.

Alright, that’s it. No witty roundup this week. I’m going to go contemplate the fact that our football team is supposed to somehow improve next year with its two most prolific offensive players graduating. Bye.

-Max

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