The Prospectus: UMass @ Wisconsin

Hey guys! UMass sports is back! and it’s on TV today! Happy? Cool, you have most likely reached your emotional peak for the day, baring any midwest miracles or live births during the game. I’ll keep this post as short as possible because a) we are about 90 minutes from kickoff as I type this and b) writing an in depth preview for a game that has a 45 point spread is an abject waste of time unless you are getting paid for such preview. I’ll just leave it at this. Wisconsin is best off joining the AAC, because as it currently stands Wisconsin is a tier 2 Big Ten team. Yeah, they are swell and they win and they have a cool badger but they will never be Michigan or Ohio State or even Penn State for fucks sake. They are Kansas State, and Kansas State lost last night, and because Kansas State lost last night and Wisconsin is Kansas state WE CAN FUCKING DO THIS YOU GUYS. Ok that was fun, yeah we’re not going to do this. Drink some good beer and enjoy the slaughter guys.

Best Case Scenario

UMass scares early, is still in the game in the 4th quarter. This post gets more views than it deserves. Randall Jette does a barrel roll fumble-interception-twopoint-conversion for a touchdown that is number one on SportsCenter, beginning the yearly UMass tradition of having a single good play in a murder and promoting the shit out of it.

Worst Case Scenario

This. UMass becomes national punchline. Bucky the Badger sleeps with my girlfriend. Rob Blanchflower injures himself further eating cheese. I say something stupid and offensive, and am uninvited from the tailgate next week. Max Page hits Charley Molnar with a chair.

Guys, 41 days until hockey.

-Matt

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